How self-confidence can improve your relationships and leave you feeling fulfilled!

Do you have ambitions that you want to pursue but, somehow, you can't seem to find the confidence to start?
Have you ever felt anxious when starting up an important conversation? We all lack confidence and composure at some time or another but the truth is that it can significantly impede your progress and stifle your creativity. The key in part is perception; how you see yourself is a reflection of how others perceive you.

An appropriate level of realistic self-confidence can be a major attribute to success both personally and in business; self- assured individuals invariably have higher morale and appear more relaxed and composed in their daily life. They tend to be more popular and get noticed more than most, because they are more assertive and readily seem to achieve their goals. Put simply, when you feel confident you're on top of the world: you take everything in your stride with composure and triumph over adversity. Developing trust in your own abilities, qualities and judgement will build your confidence and lead to better networking and negotiating skills.

One essential component of self-confidence is a complete acceptance of the consequences of a situation, be they good or bad. Once you stop dwelling on any potential negative consequences you will feel more confident because you will lose your fear of failure and that perceived sense of disapproval from others. You are then more likely to focus on the actual event, which means that your success and even enjoyment of that event become more likely.

Clearly, there will always be factors affecting your self- confidence, which may be beyond your control, but there are a number of measures you can take to bolster it. First and foremost, set yourself realistically attainable goals both in your working and private life. Be prepared to break them down into smaller tasks that allow you to incrementally reach them. Some people find it worthwhile to attach themselves to more experienced mentors who can advise and support them. Wherever possible, associate with those people who are positive, supportive and themselves brimming with confidence. Conversely, do your best to avoid those who you regard as critical, negative and draining.

Confident, self-assured professionals tend to be multi- dimensional people who naturally possess a diverse sphere of interests. To this end, try not to confine yourself to the limitations of your own career, industry and pastimes. Seek out new hobbies, read widely and perhaps revisit subjects you've scarcely considered since school or college. Provided it's appropriate, at work always be prepared to lead and offer your opinion. Don't be afraid to speak up and always attempt to sit in the front row where you can be readily seen and heard. Endeavouring to make yourself heard, at least once, in group discussions will lead you to develop your public speaking skills.

Steer well clear of all gossip and be prepared to extend co-workers the benefit of the doubt. By willingly praising or complimenting others, you will be seen in a better light and, ultimately, your opinion and approval will become sought by those around you. However, there is a negative side to confidence; unfortunate is some people find it all too easy to swing to the opposite extreme of hubris and vanity so care should be taken to guard against over-confidence. Hubris is a particularly prevalent trait among those who enjoy positions of power, authority or influence. Those so affected are prone to grossly overestimating their own competence or capabilities and that can, in turn, lead to a most unpleasant style of dictatorial and insensitive management.

Overconfidence can also imply pride and arrogance and is usually associated with the lack of humility which leads people to act in ways that, to an observer, often belies common sense. Disproportionate over-confidence can also lead to an excessive belief in one's own importance and abilities, ultimately resulting in a most abrasive form of vanity, which is anything but endearing; 'pride that goes before a fall', as the popular phrase would have it.

Experience and maturity are of course, major contributors to self-confidence and, to a great extent, the older and wiser you are, the more comfortable you will become in accepting an unquestioned belief in your own ability. Life is far more rewarding when you approach it with a confident and optimistic attitude. Switch your mind to a more positive way of thinking and see how self-confidence can improve your relationships and leave you feeling fulfilled, more at ease with yourself and ready to take on an abundance of new opportunities.